I love my boys

I am amazed at how big my BedHeadSid (BHS) is now. I become humbled when I think of what he's endured at my inexperienced hands and yet continues to be bright, funny, and at most times my sweetheart. I'll say it till i die, this boy has taught me that I am not as patient as I once thought I was, but that, with his love, I will be.

When I wrap my arms around him, he feels like such a big boy now. He even wriggles away from me like I've always heard boys will do once they cut the apron strings. I hope I can keep from cutting the strings myself too soon as I also know some mothers can do. It's hard to imagine him at the next stage of boyhood, where his body will begin to grow awkwardly, the voice changing, the insatiable appetite, the growth spurts, the carefully guarded cocoon of privacy.

I hope I have the patience of Penelope then because I know I'll need it. I can't imagine how I'll be at his next stage of boyhood, especially when I've been so frustrated lately and he's only six! I hope I can remember him as he is today: bright, articulate, sunny, effervescent, curious - totally in the why, what, how stage. I hope I remember this part of him if he shrugs me off and rolls his eyes at my efforts to connect with him as a teenager. I hope I can think of this and appreciate him more today.

I love you my son, my first born. You were the reason why I stopped smoking, drinking and carrying on; you're the reason why I turned my emotional life around and began healing. You've made me take a good, long look at myself, and you've made me confront my past, and most importantly, get over it. You saved my life. For that, you will always hold a special place in my heart. Thank you my son.




I can't believe it's been over a year since StinkyHeadMonkeyToes (SHMT) was born. He's walking and on the verge of talking and is actively playing with everyone around him in games of chase, tag, catch/toss, and even 'psych-out' (picture someone squealing exclaimations while looking like their about to chase you then stopping abruptly and ignoring you only to start up again).

He's even sympathizing with others when they're sad. He cries along with BHS when BHS is upset and has completely captured our hearts when he plopped his head down on Auntie P-chan's lap, looked deeply into her eyes smiling, and allowed her to pet him when she had been distraught over her sister's death.

SHMT is at a whole different milestone: a sweet, incredibly sensitive nature and oddly funny sense of humor has surfaced and his efforts to produce words will soon make sense of his adorable warbling and emoting.

i love being a mother.