Turn, Turn, Turn

so much is going on right now, so i'll make this short and sweet.

It is Aunt P's (Pooks's deceased sister) birthday today. It's been not even two years (?) since she's passed away. I'm sure he wasn't doing that well today, but i'm hoping that presenting personal delicacies and lighting incense for her on our little tribute/shrine on the mantle for pam helped patrick remember fond memories. i wish the boys had known their aunt better. at least this peripheral way, they'll have some memory of here being a part of our family.

I think in my mongrel knowledge of asian culture somewhere I heard that the ancestral shrine is a place for the spirit of the deceased family member to rest in the family home. Or like a beacon or something, it provides a place of invitation for the passed loved one to revisit the family. Just in case the spirit doesn't know it's way there or whether it's welcome in that home, I guess.

Personally, I think it's more for the living than the dead, but whatever the case may be, I think it's endearing to have it in the home. It's like when you leave the porch light on for your loved one when they've gone out late at night. You're thinking about them, and regardless of when they come back home, you just want them to have a safe light to come back by, and personally, I just like to let them to know that I care about them enough to do this.

Rest in peace Pamela.

sid went to his martial art class today too and on our return had only a few minutes to eat before i had to get him ready for bed. also, it's been almost two weeks, but he's going back to school tomorrow. i'd have sent him today but he had a dentist's appointment, as did lu. both the boys have cavities and will need fillings and dental work to the tune of $600! i got this news today and am feeling totally bummed about it. although I know I should be concerned that they may experience pain because of the cavities, I'm shallow enough that I'm thinking about affect it's going to have on us monetarily. that's definitely going to put a damper on our monterey trip :-(

oh well, that's life. if any good came out of it...it's motivated me to wean lucian from nursing him before and while he sleeps. i've introduced the idea of weaning, but of course he doesn't want that. wehell, today was D Day for the boob.

i promised to let him nurse any time during the day but have refused to let him nurse while falling asleep and while he sleeps. today's afternoon nap was the first time i had him purposely fall asleep without nursing. he pitched a fit, but eventually i was able to piggyback him wrapped in my robe and get him to fall asleep. poor baby, it's like i was tearing his heart out! oh the wailing and gnashing of teeth! too much emotional stress!!!!

well i just got him to fall asleep without nursing tonight too, and still had the same reaction if not worse, so i'm on a roll hopefully. my back aches and my voice is hoarse, but i will persevere. i'm sure the little angel/devil is thinking the same.