Been a bit busy....

My mother said that having your first child was a life altering labor of love (I agree!) and that because you have to care for the needs of two little ones, having the second child is harder than having the first (she has a point...). However, the third child she promised would be easiest of all.

Baloney! I say having a third child is exponentially more demanding: you're outnumbered and in my case, outsmarted! Ours is definitely one big happy family, but truthfully, our 9 year old, 4 year old, and newborn boys now run the show! Here it is well over a month since our sweet baby boy Jaesun Patrick Slesicki was born, and I am finally getting it together to send you his birth story!

Two weeks before delivery, I figured I should stay close to home so I declined a couple of social engagements and decided to see a DVD at home instead. Am I glad I did! That fateful day, just as we finished a movie at 6 pm, I had an urge to urinate and thought nothing of it, figuring it was typical after two hours of movie. I gushed what I thought was urine, but to my alarm, I saw a huge clot of blood the size of a liver in the toilet. I had a brief cramp, but felt physically fine otherwise. With the previous pregnancies, I didn't have any clots prior to labor, so with mounting concern, I called Labor n Delivery (LnD). Since I'm 41 years old, I was scared of any age-related pregnancy issues and hoped I wasn't miscarrying this baby late in the term.

While talking to the nurse on hand, I urinated again but without incident so I communicated that to her with some relief. She put me on hold so she could determine with the supervising nurse whether I should come to hospital for check up. Then I had to urinate again, but this time, I passed another liver-sized clot and anxiously told her so when she came back on the phone. This definitely required my coming in, so my husband gathered up our boys and a backpack of thrown together essentials. I had intended to start packing that week, so we were totally caught off guard. I hope others will learn from my act of procrastination -- Get that overnight bag with snacks packed 3 weeks in advance! And as if i wasn't under enough stress, I couldn't get a hold of my mom to watch over the boys and left her numerous voice mail msgs, each more frustrated than the last...

When I finally entered LnD at 7 pm, I had stopped urinating and didn't bleed again. After checking me over, the nurse on hand determined I was fine and normal, and had just probably passed my "plug," a part of the seal over my cervix which at 2 cm and still felt firm. She also assured me that, although I had not passed an abnormal amount of blood (phew!), I could go into active labor at any time and advised that I get my "ducks in a row" at home.

By 8 pm we got home and put things in order: the boys went to sleep; hubby packed the bags; and I wrapped up last minute details. My mom had called and left the message that she would try contacting us again and that she hoped I wasn't going into labor yet!!!

We tried to relax, but you could feel the expectation in the air, and our excitement grew. By midnight, the house was silent, hubby was asleep, and I wandered, puttering around the house with this stupid, content grin. This is when the first contractions started.

At 1:30 am, the contractions began in earnest -- every 7 mins for half an hour or so. Then by 2:30 am, it was every 4 mins so I called LnD. They timed the duration of my contractions and told me it had to occur for an hour before calling them again. So I used my super yoga powers and waited, breathing deeply and cursing softly while hunched over in pain. By 3:30 am, the contractions began to be 2-3 mins a part, and I began to pass the large clots again so I called LnD and demanded to come in. They agreed to my relief. We woke the boys, and since I had heard back from my mother (I must have left her another 20 msgs by the end of the night...), we decided to take them with us hoping that my mom would meet us later.

I was checked in at 5 cm and subsequently prepped in the delivery room. We had planned for my mom to watch the boys while hubby coached and supported me through labor. After hubby reluctantly ushered our sleepy boys back home and I realized I would be alone through the delivery, I unexpectedly began to cry silently. My midwife and nurse noticed and consoled me touchingly with very supportive words. My nurse was too kind: she gave up her breaks to stay with me until I delivered. I can't tell you enough how sweet they were. Their support helped me focus on the delivery and cleared my heart.

After a total of about eight hours of labor, Jaesun was born on May 31 at 9:12 am. Midwife Johnson and Nurse Jackson of Kaiser Permanente delivered a healthy, bright eyed, and hungry Jaesun and lay him comfortably on my belly so he could nurse while I cooed soft, sweet welcoming words to him. It was my third delivery, and yet I was surprised that it was still emotional for me -- still a tearfully joyous and humbling event. The delivery team was so calm, competent, and supportive -- this midwife and nurse really made it the best delivery experience for me.

I wasn't going to share this story with you at first because I felt it was my 3rd pregnancy and the events would be old hat, boring even, compared to the wonderful stories I had read through your emails, but I'm glad I did. Even though it's long, once I wrote it and expressed what was in my heart, this birth story recalls the emotional drama of Jaesun's birth and reminds me of that special day -- of how much I love my sweet, youngest baby boy, and how much my family means to me. And you always have to spread the warmth of that kind of LOVE!

Peace and hugs,

MaNams

p.s., yes, yy franken belly needs some serious re-shaping! 4 words: Post-Partum-Scupting-Class! Look for a new me by next year

The Ever-Changing World

So much has occurred lately that I haven't been able to blog in months! 

There was Halloween. BedHeadSid dressed up as There was Pooks quietly celebrated birthday. Lunch at Foster's Big Horn and a day trip  in Rio Vista. 

There was Mike's memorial birthday party. I will always miss him. 

There was the election. I don't know about you, but I cried when he delivered his moving Grant Park speech. Our new President-Elect brings hope to the country. Now all W needs to do is ride into that sunset as quietly and quickly as possible...

There was the disappointment of Prop 8 passing, but hopefully the State Supreme Court will find it unconstitutional. Why can't people let people feel legitmate? Damn hets!

There was Halmoni's birthday at Apple Hill. Pooks and BedHeadSid caught some trout for her, and we ate more apples than was necessary.  And let's not forget grandma's own immortal words to the question "how's your birthday going?" --  "I'm not dead yet."

There was Thanksgiving. Too. Much. Turkey. Nuff said.

Now December is on its way, and Xmas preparations begin. Happy Holidays.

The Big 3

Stinky Head Monkey Toes (SHMT) turned three near the end of August, and we celebrated with grandma and the Red Sultans at Scandia.

SHMT had a blast. Pizza, cupcakes, soda, ice tea, miniature golf, bumper boats, go-cart raceway, and kiddie-winkie casino (arcade) -- all made for one very exciting birthday party shared with loved ones.

SHMT loved it all, even the beet flavored pink cupcakes!

Three-year olds are so easy to please!

We've had so much going on lately, that I've neglected to report on Sir SHMT's progress. Let me just say, he's very, very sweet, funny, intelligent, articulate, and really knows how to reason now. But couple that with his physical aggressiveness and fearlessness, and we have an endless source of entertainment and unexpected surprises.

Specifics, you ask? Ah, yes. There is

1) the climbing of bookcases,

2) the destruction of all things paper, like the books in the bookcases,

3) the terrorist guerrilla tactics of sibling stalking and maiming (POOR, POOR BedHeadSid...),

4) the throwing of all objects (e.g., water, glass, food, anything potentially lethal), especially breakable, mess-making things

5) the squealing or screaming ban-shee like,

6) the singing of many nursery rhymes, ballads, musicals, and movie theme songs (I cannot drown out the theme from Ironman...)

7) the agile and deftly performed hopping, skipping, dancing, soccer kicking, and acrobatics off the floor, couch , and bed

8) the ability to burp at will (he's been doing that since he was one!)

9) the fascination with chocolate, pink and lip gloss (fabulous!) and lastly,

10) the reasoning and wherewithal that enables him to reason and clarify "who me?" when BedHeadSid asks a question not addressed to anyone in particular.

I know SHMT is like most other children his age, but then again, he has a unique sense of being, a personality that somehow separates him from the pack. We love you Stinky Head Monkey Toes, you great, big three-year old, our little man!

Burying the Past

The past few months have been turbulent for our small circle of family and friends. I've had to say good-bye to more people than I wanted in my whole life time. Growing older sucks sometimes!

Well, today we witnessed the burial of the Angel Michael. There's so much sadness in all of us that loved him. My heart feels heavy, my body is all numb, and I can't help but sigh with every effort to breathe. I never knew how much I loved him until now.

The Angel Michael

I can remember catching a glimpse of you from across the room as you entered the animal house. your black cropped hair and black pea coat -- your brown face with almond eyes, you couldn't have stood out more from the others -- in dress, in skin color, in temperment.

while the others worked out their angst, you brought good cheer and a lust for life to those around you, whether they liked it or not. Nothing could bring you down, it seemed, so you were our Pollyanna, our Peter Pan with rose-colored glasses.

I remember the careless nights out and the free ba-ha-la-na days exploring on a whim.

I remember the night we won the dance contest. I remember so much about you. There's so much about you we'll never forget and never stop loving.

et tu, brutus?

good riddance auntie lolo. sayonara original slesickis. go fuck yourself uncle r (with whom i was talking).

i've closed the door on many people in our life right now, and at heart, i'm saddened by closures, but i know it's the right thing to do.

i can't believe how long i've put up with people who supposedly love me, our family. all the snide remarks that you ignore because 1) they are going through their own bullshit and it's really not the time to nit-pick their hurtful jabs; because 2) they're just being themselves (you've always laughed at their unique sarcasm afterall); because 3) i guess you get used to the negativity in light of the positive things they do.

but where do you draw the line?

when people don't respect you, don't know how to respect your children, and i suppose by doing so, to respect themselves, then closure is necessary. you can explain away the incidents, the circumstances, and reasons why they do what they do, but when -- after all is said and done and you've finally had enough kind, good-hearted, upstanding people in your life to show you how people are supposed to act when they truly love you -- then you can no longer stand the conceit of people and their insensitivity and shallowness -- then it's time.

for me, the time has come at last.

auntie lo-lo: the world does not revolve around you and your new-found sense of self-absorbed superiority. get a real life beyond handbags and stomache stapling, you shallow bitch!

original slesickis: you all could have done so much to make us a real family. instead you chose to disregard us. how sad for your son, his boys and me, but mostly i'm so sad for you. while i know my intimate family knows what it is to be a family, you all will only be able to imagine the love of family made up of grandmas, grandpas, uncles, aunts, and grandchildren.

uncle r (with whom i was talking): wait until you have children...that is, if you even make it that far.

you all have taught me a much needed lesson. i hope i have shed some light in yours.

Look Ma, We're On TV!

Last Friday, while the boys had a playdate at Discovery Park, a local newscamerawoman asked us about the new law requiring all children to wear lifevests at the river (the fine is $300 or some crazy amount). BedHeadSid's friend's mom spoke to the lady and had her telegenic self on the news along with footage of the boys by the river.

Here's the link to the video.
http://www.news10.net/video/default.aspx?maven_playerId=immersiveplayer&maven_referralObject=775244472

Yes, in the video, that's me standing next to StinkyHeadMonkeyToes, the only kid without a lifevest! As the newslady neared, I very casually slinked away, trying not to get on camera (cuz we all know how the camera adds lbs to the figure, and I am truly only 50 lbs overweight!).

I did speak to the newslady though. I told her that although kids should wear them if they're going into the river and their might not be sufficient supervision (e.g., more kids than parent/caregivers), I emphasized the point that I didn't think parents should be penalized for not having their kid(s) wear a lifevest if the child has a watchful parent looking over the child. that didn't get on the news, however...