Fat Frank's Haircut

Today I cut your hair for the first time, StinkyHeadMonkeyToes (SHMT). I'm so sorry. After my disasterous attempts with BedHeadSid's hair, I vowed that I'd take BHS to a salon and that I wouldn't touch yours. I am so sorry. Your dad made me do it.

Soooo it looked like Frankenstein's Monster's hair cut at first (I coulda put some bolts on your neck and seriously no one would be able to tell differently), but I fixed it and now you just look like fat Frank Sinatra, you know the old, bloated look Frank. Trust me, it's a step up. I love you, don't be mad. You're so cute, you can carry off anything.

At this time, you are tossing everything within grasp. We cannot leave you unattended with food, bowls, glasses, utensils, or any long stick-like apparatus. You will hurt someone. You already have. We are afraid you will eat us. You have already tried.


BHS is surprisingly patient with you and rarely has raised his hand to you; usually, BHS screams like a girl and shields his head with his arms while you pummel him or try to nosh on his belly, back, and/or leg. Your brother loves you. Remember that! We're teaching BHS to disarm you and stare you down though, because honestly, you're getting a bit tyrannical, what with all the toddle-by whackings and surpise nibbling-turn-cannibal-biting that you've committed against each and every member of this household -- including grandma. No one is safe. Good thing you're small and cute. Your homicidal tendencies would be hard to handle otherwise.

You love to share, unless it's something big. Then you like to hold it. You take joy in hand-feeding people. You won't take no for an answer.

Also at this time, you are a rising soccer star. You share this trait with your brother (who scored his first goal last saturday!). You love to dribble just about everything across the floor - a small ball, a wooden block, a bowl, a book, and yes, even a cheese puff.

You love to say hi and bye, and can manage a "hi daddy!" and "hi brodda" along with your "mamamamaammamamamam!"s.

Oh, and you can scream like Ella Fitzgerald breaks glass. You can dance by shaking your booty and swinging your arm. You love to sing.

But best of all, you're happy and sweet and know that you are loved.

Happy Birthday Halmoni!

Today is grandma's birthday! We actually started celebrating yesterday by going to the local Indian casino, Halmoni's favorite place. Can you say 'Big Money!'? Loathe that I am to be dragged into these places - these gambling dens, these houses of inequity and sin, these places of excess noise, lights, and malodors - surprisingly, I'm finding them less repulsive each year and thereby confirming my worst nightmare: maternal metamorphosis: you know...T-I-M...Turning Into Mother!!!

Not only am I 1) proudly stating the bargain basement prices of retail finds, 2) loving whole chunks of ginger in my food, and 3) mumbling/shouting derisives in korean when I'm angry, but now I have permanently crossed the larval line from Carefree Career Girl (where I devoured all the life I needed) and pupated into the cocoon of Angry, Asian Housefrau (where I happily lay gamboling with the slots instead of dancing all night at the bars and clubs as was featured in said larva life). I await the day that I save the styrofoam trays from meat packages and fast food meals. Pathetic some may say, but true.

Truthfully, I may seethe with sarcasm at times, and one may dectect a note of regret or loss, but in all honesty, I rather enjoy the change and don't really regret that I currently reside in the "Excuse Me Ma'am" instead of the "Can I help you, Young Miss?" category. Sure you get more things for free in the latter class, but hell, now I get sweet respectability and sincere intentions that I just didn't get before.

It was weird when I entered motherhood and realized that that there was this difference. It's like having children gave you an all-day pass to gentle parenting, nurturing, and healthier living in general: scheduled playtime, quiet time, snack time, and naps; constructive words; redirecting misbehavior toward acceptable activities; less sugar and more veggies; hell, I stopped cursing (outloud), drinking, smoking, and speeding on the freeway - that alone must have added cat years to my life if not others. I've been forced to consider my values (didn't know I had them...) and decide what is acceptable, unacceptable, and exemplary behavior.

I must admit that all the nightlife and fast living was nice for what it was and at the very least, for giving me memories of being wild and young with which I can regale my children so they can think of me as more than just a cookie-baking, pie-making, over-doting soccer mom/grandma. Shoot, when I'm 71, I might be in the casinos rockin' the martinis and cigars alongside my mother, god bless her soul.

Happy Birthday Halmoni! We all hope you had a great day filled with love from your youngest child's family, and I hope you know that I love you. I'm like you in more ways than I ever knew, and I'm so glad I'm finally realizing it. Thanks for being my mother, thanks for being like a mother to Pooks, and for being the best grandma to my sons. May we celebrate more years together. Your daughter, Ji-yun.

The Next Stage of Childhood, Manhood, Womanhood

Pooks' 42nd birthday and Halloween has come and gone. I'm amazed at how quickly time flies with the boys (all three of them...) getting older and reaching new plateaus of development.

Pooks is still going strong, able to bike to Davis or Folsom and still rocking the bike pants, if you know what I mean! He's also been recently promoted in his career and bringing home more bacon: Thank gawd he's not still at the bookstore making peanuts only to be laid off! He's my old man, he's growing hair in never before seen places, and I like it!

BedHeadSid (BHS) is learning to be a kinder, gentler six-year old brother. It's a chore, but he's managing it well. BHS has demonstrated the utmost in patience toward his younger bro who is now in full tantrum and teething (biting) mode. BHS has amazed us with his restraint. Poor guy. Most notably in the intellect department, BHS is now out-reasoning us with logical and practical reasoning tactics that are amusing but disturbing nonetheless given that he should not be outsmarting us at his age. BHS has also learned to read upside-down text. What next, Darth Sidious, what next?

If it's not the six-year old plotting against us, it's the 14-month old conniving against us along side him. StinkyHeadMonkeyToes (SHMT) is now at the stage of total coherency, and oh, he's doing something about it, alright. He demonstrates his very independent will with glass-shattering screams, blood-letting scratches, and his most recent weapon of choice, biting with his fangs -- all four of them. Christ, he's like a rabid hamster sometimes! Gone are the days of sweet nibbling and adorable helplessness. Now, SHMT can walk, run, scurry, skulk, climb and employ stealth to seek, surprise, and destroy his prey.

In fact he's altogether more calculating than I'd expect a toddler to be at this age. He's now carefully adjusting his soccer ball object just so, then backing up with tiny, bull-like stamping steps, so that he can precisely kick/dribble the object according to his design. Very adorable, very adorable, but too focused, just tooooo too focused for a baby that still accidently farts if he falls down too quickly.

SHMT has also graduated to building blocks instead of demolishing them (though he's still into that too). He has built a tower as high as 8 blocks, clapped wildly at his focused efforts, then proceeded to knock down the aberration, because deep down, he knows the evidence of his abilities must be destroyed. What next, Baby Lu, driving?

Oh, oh!

I guess all this means just one thing: I'm getting old.

All Hallow's Eve

We celebrated Halloween in style with our wonderful and loving family in Carmichael, the Red Sultans. Cousin Armand, Grandmere S, Tia D, and Amu/Da-i B welcomed us as usual with open arms and warm hearts. They are such kind hosts and we enjoy their company so much, it's always hard to leave. But it's always that way, isn't it, with the ones you love?

Thank you for sharing your hospitality and making our Halloween so memorable.

With each passing day, I am moved by the love that touches our family and how these connections help our children grow into the magnificent beings that they are and will be.

Cousin Armand and BedHeadSid (BHS) played their first game of chess together. They are young and still learning the game, most importantly, the art of gentlemanly sportsmanship from brother to brother. As BHS sat in Amu/Da-i B's lap and Cousin Armand teamed up with a supine Pooks, both boys conferred with their respective uncle generals for tactical and technical advice. It was a sweet yet profound image of brothers, fathers and sons bonding over an ancient game of wits, a match that incidentally resulted in a draw, kindergarten style: with pieces being tossed from the board and giggles abound. Here's to the men in our family: let's hope there'll be more games of this caliber to teach our sons the importance of family.

And to the ladies, Halloween indeed brought out the spirit in us all! Halmoni wore her angel costume and graced the company of our candy pirate and baby darth sidious on their search for the sweet force of confectionery booty!

As we walked the upscale neighborhood and talked as sisters do, Tia D exchanged holiday cheer with her good neighbors, and I felt the spirit of the night in all the shared commaraderie and squeals of "trick or treat!", even as I nursed StinkyHeadMonkeyToes (SHMT) in the sling during the semi-lit moonlight.

The night was made especially endearing because Amu/Da-i B's mom Grandmere S was visiting from Iran. She has such a beautiful heart and visage that SHMT fell quietly in awe of her that day. As we bid our goodnights on Halloween, Grandmere S held SHMT aloft on the palm of her hand and SHMT stood high up in the air for a second, again in awe of the love and strength of this woman. SHMT smiled widely down into her eyes, and in that moment, the two of them shared the magic of the evening, and as the spirit flowed through them both, so it did through us all.